非我而当者，吾师也；是我而当者，吾友也；谄谀我者，吾贼也。
释义Explanation
这句话指出，能正确指出我错误的人，是我的老师；能恰当肯定我优点的人，是我的朋友；而一味奉承讨好我的人，实际上是害我的人。荀子认为，修身的关键在于明辨他人的反馈：真诚的批评使人清醒进步，适度的肯定给人信心动力，无原则的谄媚则容易让人迷失自我、滋生过失。因此，君子应当亲近师友，远离谄谀之人。这段话在今天依然具有重要的人际智慧与自省价值。
This saying from Xunzi teaches that those who rightly point out our faults are our teachers, those who rightly acknowledge our strengths are our friends, and those who flatter us without principle are our destroyers. In self-cultivation, it is crucial to distinguish sincere feedback from empty praise. Honest criticism helps us improve; fair affirmation encourages us; sycophancy blinds us to our weaknesses and leads us astray. Therefore, a wise person values truthful critics and genuine friends while guarding against flatterers. This insight remains profoundly relevant for personal growth and interpersonal relationships today.
使用场景Usage
在现代职场或社交中，当有人直率地指出你的方案漏洞，而另一些人总是不分对错地夸你，这句古训提醒我们：前者才是真正帮助你成长的人。面对批评，不应恼怒；面对奉承，更要警惕。无论是管理者听取意见，还是个人处理人际关系，都应亲近那些敢于说真话、善于提建议的人，远离一味讨好的人。
In modern workplaces or social circles, when someone bluntly points out flaws in your plan while others constantly praise you regardless of merit, this saying reminds us that the former truly helps you grow. Do not resent legitimate criticism, and be wary of flattery. Whether you are a manager seeking feedback or an individual navigating relationships, value those who speak truthfully and offer sound suggestions, and distance yourself from those who merely seek to please.