人之有德于我也，不可忘也；吾有德于人也，不可不忘也。
释义Explanation
这句话揭示了对待恩情的两层智慧：一是铭记他人的恩惠，心存感激；二是淡忘自己给予他人的恩惠，不居功自傲。它倡导一种平衡的处世态度，既要懂得感恩，又要避免以恩人自居，从而保持人际关系的纯粹与和谐。唐雎以此劝谏信陵君，提醒他在挽救赵国后不要居功，体现了谦逊与自省的品格。这种智慧在现代社会依然适用，是处理人际关系的重要准则。
This quote encapsulates a two-fold wisdom in handling gratitude: we should always remember the kindness others have shown us, while deliberately forgetting the favors we have done for others. It advocates a balanced approach to human relationships—cultivating genuine thankfulness without assuming the role of a benefactor. Tang Ju used this advice to remind Lord Xinling not to dwell on his own merits after saving Zhao, exemplifying humility and self-reflection. This principle remains highly relevant today as a guiding rule for healthy interpersonal dynamics.
使用场景Usage
在职场或社交中，当一个人帮助了同事或朋友，不应反复提及自己的付出，以免让对方感到压力或亏欠；而当自己接受他人帮助时，则要铭记于心，适时回报。这种“忘与不忘”的智慧，有助于建立平等、真诚的关系。例如，团队合作中，领导者若能做到有功不居、有过不诿，更能赢得尊重与信任。现代人常因“我对你那么好”而产生怨怼，这句话正是化解此类矛盾的良方。
In modern workplaces or social circles, when we help a colleague or friend, we should avoid repeatedly mentioning our own contribution, which may burden the recipient with a sense of indebtedness. Conversely, when we receive help, we should remember it and reciprocate when appropriate. This wisdom of forgetting and remembering fosters equal and sincere relationships. For instance, a leader who claims little credit but takes responsibility earns greater trust. Such an attitude can resolve the common resentment of "I've been so good to you."