与不期众少，其于当厄；怨不期深浅，其于伤心。
释义Explanation
帮助别人不在于给予的多少，而在于是否在对方危难困厄时及时相助；结怨不在于事情大小或深浅，而在于是否刺伤了对方的内心。这句话以对比揭示人际关系中“时机”与“情感”的重要性：雪中送炭胜过锦上添花，无心的伤害可能比巨大的利益冲突更令人寒心。提醒我们体察他人真实处境与感受。
This saying conveys that the value of giving does not lie in the amount, but in whether it comes at a time of desperate need. Similarly, the depth of resentment is not measured by the size of an offense, but by whether it touches someone's heart. It reminds us that timely help—like fuel in snowy weather—outweighs lavish gifts given when all is well, and that even small, careless acts can wound deeply if they strike at a person's dignity or emotions. Therefore, we should be attentive to others' real circumstances and feelings.
使用场景Usage
在职场或人际交往中，当朋友陷入低谷，一句真诚的问候或一次关键的支持，远胜于平时热闹的寒暄；反之，公开场合一句轻慢的玩笑，可能比正式批评更让人记恨。这时可以引用此句，提醒自己与人相处要雪中送炭、谨言慎行，关注他人内心的真实需求与感受。
In modern life, this quote applies when a friend is going through a rough patch—a sincere check-in or a small act of support matters far more than lavish gestures in good times. Conversely, a careless joke in public may wound more than direct criticism. The saying reminds us to offer timely help and be mindful of others' feelings.